cognitive.

i like you under me, it seems
that is where you belong and only
in my wildest dreams do you
never get up and leave me
but bliss is sleep and
wandering cognitive activities

often

So i don't really update this thing too often; mainly its just a way to get shit off my chest or i just get mega bored (like right now) and decide that typing my thoughts is a good way to pass time. I go back to uni soon though so i reckon i will update it more with things that are going on, maybe use it as a notebook if i have ideas about my course or just ideas in general about this great existential quest we are all on when we reach late adolescence, or even all of adolescence.
Im not too happy with the modules on my course this year, theyre totally different to what i wanted to do and what i was hoping to do when i applied to go here but i guess i'll just have to struggle on and actually Try to get something out of it. i dont want it to be 3 years wasted when i doubt i'll ever get another opportunity and i need to get through so i can carry on in pursuit of what i want to do with my life.
i'm rambling for no reason now, it's 20 to 11 in the morning and i'm bored as hell, i should be out living life but it seems that a lot of people are just a disappointment and its hard with no job so i try to vent my energy sitting on the internet.
Been trying to start new creative pieces recently; stories and the like but it just seems everything i try to write is similar and i dont want to do that; i'm sick of the guy meets girl thing that always creeps into what i write, i could do with some new inspiration but it is hard finding it on the wirral.

now cold days draw closer.

winter days at newbo beach
cold hands and flustered cheeks
tomorrow won't come and
today only matters

seagulls shit and it lands by our feet
Our hips collide as we walk down the street
the chips fall hot down our throat
these are the Memories that come but (hopefully) never go.

Wandering/Wondering.

I've been wandering around my mind recently, wondering exactly what i want to do and where i want to be in my future. Does anybody ever really know? I think it's so hard to make definitive choices concerning your future and your life, i don't think i know exactly what i want to do though i have vague ideas.
I know that i will emigrate to the us. This country just drains me, it's not what i thought it was and now i need out.
Manhattan would be the ideal place, i reckon, though i've never been. I think it;s because of woody allens film of the same name. He shows the place in such a great light; it seems to hold in its grasp some mystical objet a that my desire longs for.

I go back to university soon, 2 weeks in fact. It seems like i've been off for so long, and now it;s just dragging and boring. I finished on, i think, the 5th of june, therefore i've had near enough 4 months off. The highlight obviously being my trip to san francisco but other than that it's been tedious and money is running short.
On the wirral there isn't much to do.

Morning.

writing rambling haiku
in a chocolatey bed
listening to the current affairs

not much happening
insulin injections and
opening blinds blank stares.

late evening blues
bedtime beckons and i reckon
tomorrow aint so soon